Hi everyone,
I am finally joining you all in the blog shop. Really enjoyed the workshop on Saturday and will see you all on Wednesday. Hope to create something by then!!
Jacqui
Sunday 29 July 2007
Friday 13 July 2007
Brrrrr just landed from Tropical Queensland
Tricia I can see how you have modified and worked on your poem. Will give some thought to the poem when I have adjusted back here. Have been in Port Douglas and enjoyed the idea of doing nothing. In fact, it is the best piece I have done all year. Back to the poem. You have made the poem much stronger and I can understand your need for the poem to speak to society at large. I respect and admire the love and energy that come through your words.
And if anyone has the last week edition of The Bayside Leader, Brighton library had sent me an email saying that their was an article on Myron and the forthcoming workshop. So grab a hold of a copy and have a read. Can someone bring me a copy of the article as I have not got last weeks paper. We should get a few more bookings from the PR.
So look forward to seeing you all on the 21 July at 1.30pm.
Cecilia
And if anyone has the last week edition of The Bayside Leader, Brighton library had sent me an email saying that their was an article on Myron and the forthcoming workshop. So grab a hold of a copy and have a read. Can someone bring me a copy of the article as I have not got last weeks paper. We should get a few more bookings from the PR.
So look forward to seeing you all on the 21 July at 1.30pm.
Cecilia
Monday 9 July 2007
Too Soon Dead
Have spent a lot of time on this piece, am not yet happy with it and would welcome any comments. I began these pieces, yes there are more, with a view to making them accessible to those who may not be comfortable with poetry. I am trying for a simplicity or ease of access for all, not just lovers of poetry. Too much to ask? only time will tell. I find I still want to try to hold onto the rhyme as for me it has a rhythm and resonance, but as I said all comments gratefully appreciated.
Too Soon Dead
A young man died the other day,
only a drug addict some would say,
no comprehension of the battle that rages
lives destroyed in agonising stages.
Picture this man as a little tyke
taking his first steps, riding his first bike,
a wealth of potential beginning to bud
yet the seed of addiction may already flow in his blood.
There are smokers and alcoholics in his family tree,
a history of depression, to name only three
genetic components that may warn of the danger,
a loving young man could become a glassy eyed stranger.
Glimpses of sorrow buried deep in his soul
with the death of a loved one become a gaping black hole;
what began as experimentation becomes a means to escape
the pain and turmoil of his bottomless lake.
Chasing the dragon becomes the focus of each day
but the dragon isn’t chased - he is leading the way
to destruction and death with his nectar for need,
humanity assists with their judgement and greed.
“Drug addicts are weak” a common refrain,
no problem is solved by apportioning blame.
Addiction doesn’t discriminate, sidles up to any door
insidious epidemic, miss-diagnosed as war,
erroneous perceptions keep the beast fed,
Some addicts break away, others too soon dead.
Tricia
Too Soon Dead
A young man died the other day,
only a drug addict some would say,
no comprehension of the battle that rages
lives destroyed in agonising stages.
Picture this man as a little tyke
taking his first steps, riding his first bike,
a wealth of potential beginning to bud
yet the seed of addiction may already flow in his blood.
There are smokers and alcoholics in his family tree,
a history of depression, to name only three
genetic components that may warn of the danger,
a loving young man could become a glassy eyed stranger.
Glimpses of sorrow buried deep in his soul
with the death of a loved one become a gaping black hole;
what began as experimentation becomes a means to escape
the pain and turmoil of his bottomless lake.
Chasing the dragon becomes the focus of each day
but the dragon isn’t chased - he is leading the way
to destruction and death with his nectar for need,
humanity assists with their judgement and greed.
“Drug addicts are weak” a common refrain,
no problem is solved by apportioning blame.
Addiction doesn’t discriminate, sidles up to any door
insidious epidemic, miss-diagnosed as war,
erroneous perceptions keep the beast fed,
Some addicts break away, others too soon dead.
Tricia
Sunday 1 July 2007
Crow's Revenge
Thank you very much Cecilia and Suzanne for your encouraging comments on Crow. I do have some negative criticism to report though.The other day I found a relation of my late glossy friend busy stripping the rubber from my car's wipers. When I protested about this gratuitous vandalism his response was to empty his bowels all over the bonnet. I take this to be a warning against writing anything more about crows, living or dead.
Suzanne, I've been thinking about your beautiful and profound "Bride Discards her Veil" and I wonder if there may not be two (or more?) poems entwined within it, maybe one on the frustration of blocked inspiration and another on the complexities of Self. Personally, if we have time at our next meeting I'd love to hear you read it again, and to talk about it some more. I have had a go at restructuring and pruning the poem myself but I fear that I may have butchered it in the process. ( That's generally what happens when I prune something!) Anyway, I'll bring my draft along for you to read on Wednesday - hopefully it will be of some help.
Sandra, I thought that your poem about mother and daughter summed up that touching yet sad relationship very aptly, especially the last few lines.
Did anyone else hear the beautiful performance of Mahler's Song of the Earth on ABC FM this morning? (Chinese poems translated into German and then set to music by Mahler.)
Suzanne, I've been thinking about your beautiful and profound "Bride Discards her Veil" and I wonder if there may not be two (or more?) poems entwined within it, maybe one on the frustration of blocked inspiration and another on the complexities of Self. Personally, if we have time at our next meeting I'd love to hear you read it again, and to talk about it some more. I have had a go at restructuring and pruning the poem myself but I fear that I may have butchered it in the process. ( That's generally what happens when I prune something!) Anyway, I'll bring my draft along for you to read on Wednesday - hopefully it will be of some help.
Sandra, I thought that your poem about mother and daughter summed up that touching yet sad relationship very aptly, especially the last few lines.
Did anyone else hear the beautiful performance of Mahler's Song of the Earth on ABC FM this morning? (Chinese poems translated into German and then set to music by Mahler.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
